Plato: For the greater good.

Aristotle: To fulfill its nature on the other side.

Karl Marx: It was a historical inevitability.

Machiavelli: So that its subjects will view it with admiration, as a chicken which has the daring and courage to boldly cross the road, but also with fear, for whom among them has the strength to contend with such a paragon of avian virtue? In such a manner is the princely chicken’s dominion maintained.

Hippocrates: Because of an excess of light pink gooey stuff in its pancreas.

Jacques Derrida: Any number of contending discourses may be discovered within the act of the chicken crossing the road, and each interpretation is equally valid as the authorial intent can never be discerned, because structuralism is DEAD, DAMMIT, DEAD!

Thomas de Torquemada: Give me ten minutes with the chicken and I’ll find out.

Timothy Leary: Because that’s the only kind of trip the Establishment would let it take.

Douglas Adams: Forty-two.

Nietzsche: Because if you gaze too long across the Road, the Road gazes also across you.

Oliver North: National Security was at stake.

B.F. Skinner: Because the external influences which had pervaded its sensorium from birth had caused it to develop in such a fashion that it would tend to cross roads, even while believing these actions to be of its own free will.

Carl Jung: The confluence of events in the cultural gestalt necessitated that individual chickens cross roads at this historical juncture, and therefore synchronicitously brought such occurrences
into being.

Jean-Paul Sartre: In order to act in good faith and be true to itself, the chicken found it necessary to cross the road.

Ludwig Wittgenstein: The possibility of “crossing” was encoded into the objects chicken” and “road”, and circumstances came into being which caused the actualization of this potential occurrence.

Albert Einstein: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road crossed the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.

Aristotle: To actualize its potential.

Buddha: If you ask this question, you deny your own chicken-nature.

Howard Cosell: It may very well have been one of the most astonishing events to grace the annals of history. An historic, unprecedented avian biped with the temerity to attempt such an herculean achievement formerly relegated to homo sapien pedestrians is truly a remarkable occurence.

Salvador Dali: The Fish.

Darwin: It was the logical next step after coming down from the trees.

Emily Dickinson: Because it could not stop for death.

Epicurus: For fun.

Ralph Waldo Emerson: It didn’t cross the road; it transcended it.

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe: The eternal hen-principle made it do it.

Ernest Hemingway: To die. In the rain.

Werner Heisenberg: We are not sure which side of the road the chicken was on, but it was moving very fast.

David Hume: Out of custom and habit.

Saddam Hussein: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.

Jack Nicholson: ‘Cause it (censored) wanted to. That’s the (censored) reason.

Pyrrho the Skeptic: What road?

Ronald Reagan: Well,……………….

John Sununu: The Air Force was only too happy to provide the transportation, so quite understandably the chicken availed himself of the opportunity.

The Sphinx: You tell me.

Henry David Thoreau: To live deliberately … and suck all the marrow out of life.

Mark Twain: The news of its crossing has been greatly exaggerated.

Mishima: For the beauty of it. The chicken’s extension of its sinuous legs sent shivers of a dark despair into the souls not only of the silently watching hens but also the roosters, who felt a sudden
sexual desire for their exquisite comrade. The dark courage of the chicken was as beautiful as drops of dew upon jade at midnight, struck by a partial moon, its light filtered through clouds. One of the deeply aroused roosters could stand the intensity of the moment no more and bit off the head of the beautiful, courageous chicken-hero, whose wine blood was deliciously drunken by the road, and he died.

Johnny Cochran: The chicken didn’t cross the road. Some chicken-hating, genocidal, lying public official moved the road right under the chicken’s feet while he was practicing his golf swing and
thinking about his family.

Camus: The chicken’s mother had just died. But this did not really upset him, as any number of witnesses can attest. In fact, he crossed just because the sun got in his eyes.

John Sununu (again): I would argue that the chicken never crossed the road at all. That it is a story concocted by the Clinton Administration to distract attention from their failed agriculture
policy. Where is the evidence that the chicken crossed the road?
Where, Michael?

Michael Kinsley: Oh, John, come on! Everybody knows the chicken crossed the road. What evidence do you need? It’s obvious that the chicken crossed the road. Your whole argument is just a smoke and mirror tactic to distract us from the fact that most chickens polled now back the Democratic Party. You ought to be ashamed of yourself, John.

Siskel: I don’t know why it crossed the road, but I loved it. Thumbs up!

Ebert: I disagree. The whole thing left the audience wondering; the chicken’s crossing the road was never clearly explained and the chicken didn’t emote very well. It couldn’t even speak English!
Thumbs down.

Michael Kinsley: But you both agree it did cross the road, right? See, John. I’m right as usual.

JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Isn’t it obvious? Can’t you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the “other side.” That’s what “they” call it: the “other side.” Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like “the other side.” That chicken should not be free to cross the road. It’s as plain and simple as that.

KEN STARR:
I intend to prove that the chicken crossed the road at the behest of the President of the United States of America in an effort to distract law enforcement officials and the American public from the criminal wrongdoing our highest elected official has been trying to cover up. As a result, the chicken is just another pawn in the president’s ongoing and elaborate scheme to obstruct justice and undermine the rule of law. For that reason, my staff intends to offer the chicken unconditional immunity provided he co-operates fully with our investigation. Furthermore, the chicken will not be permitted to reach the other side of the road until our investigation and any Congressional follow-up investigations have been completed. (We also are investigating whether Sid Blumenthal has leaked information to the Rev. Jerry Falwell, alleging the chicken to be homosexual in an effort to discredit any useful testimony the bird may have to offer, or at least to ruffle his feathers.)

PAT BUCHANAN:
To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American.

DR. SEUSS:
Did the chicken cross the road?
Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes!
The chicken crossed the road,
But why it crossed,
I’ve not been told!

MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.:
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.

GRANDPA:
In my day, we didn’t ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.

ARISTOTLE:
It is in the nature of chickens to cross the road.

KARL MARX:
It was a historical inevitability.

CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK:
To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

FOX MULDER:
You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have to cross before you believe it?

FREUD:
The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

BILL GATES:
I have just released eChicken 98, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook-and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.

BILL CLINTON:
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by chicken? Could you define chicken please?

LOUIS FARRAKHAN:
The road, you will see, represents the black man. The chicken crossed the “black man” in order to trample him and keep him down.

THE BIBLE:
And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken, “Thou shalt cross the road.” And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.

COLONEL SANDERS:
I missed one?

By Kymythy R. Schultze, CN
www.kymythy.com

Protein

Dietary protein supplies essential amino acids and is needed for the manufacture of antibodies, enzymes, hormones, tissues, and proper pH balance. Protein provides energy for cats and is essential for growth and development. Complete proteins contain ample amounts of essential amino acids and are found in foods such as meat, fish, eggs, and poultry. Incomplete proteins do not provide all essential amino acids and are found in many foods including legumes, grains, and vegetables. Plant proteins don’t supply the essential amino acids that a cat needs, such as taurine, which come from animal protein. Cats need protein from animal sources as the amino acids from vegetable sources are not well utilized. Overall, cats have a very high requirement for protein.

Fat

Dietary fat is a concentrated source of energy for the cat. It also provides essential fatty acids and aids in nutrient utilization and transportation. Fat is involved in cell integrity and metabolic regulation. Saturated fat is found primarily in animal sources while polyunsaturated fat is found mostly in plant sources.

Linoleic and arachidonic acids have long been considered to be essential fatty acids (EFAs) for cats. More recently, DHA has been added due to its important contribution to feline vision, reproductive health, and the immune system. EPA may also be of benefit. Unlike some animals, cats do not efficiently convert plant sources of EFAs to the needed derivatives. For example, cats must eat meat to obtain arachidonic acid. Also, cats do not convert LA to GLA (as some animals do), but studies show that GLA can benefit feline skin and coat health. The cat would also consume Omega 3s and CLA when eating its natural herbivorous prey.

Minerals

Minerals are essential to the cat and are involved in almost all physiological reactions. They contribute to enzyme formation, pH balance, nutrient utilization, oxygen transportation, and are stored in bone and muscle tissue. Biological availability may vary widely depending on the source of the mineral. Elemental minerals are generally taken from the earth or water. Chelated minerals are those that are bound with other organic substances often making them easier for the body to absorb. Minerals include calcium, chloride, chromium, cobalt, copper, fluorine, iodine, iron, magnesium, manganese, molybdenum, phosphorus, potassium, selenium, silicon, sodium, sulfur, and zinc. There are other mineral elements required by cats at trace concentrations. Minerals, like vitamins, work synergistically. They have a cooperative action between them.

Vitamins

Vitamins are essential for metabolism regulation, normal growth and function. Vitamins are found in food and some are synthesized within the animal’s body. They’re classified as either water- or fat-soluble. Fat-soluble vitamins include A, D, E, and K. Water-soluble vitamins include C and the B-complex. Generally, fat-soluble vitamins are stored in the body, while water-soluble vitamins pass through more quickly. Once again, the carnivorous cat utilizes animal sources of nutrients more readily than plant sources. For example, cats cannot convert beta-carotene from plants to vitamin A (as some animals do), so they need preformed vitamin A from an animal source. Preformed vitamin A needs no conversion.

Water

Because cats are designed to fulfill most of their water requirements by eating fresh raw food, they naturally have a low thirst drive. This can lead to health issues for cats that eat dry cat food products and treats. One of the problems is that even though they become dehydrated eating the kibble, their natural “programming” may not encourage them to drink more water. And their urine can become too concentrated. Even though a healthy cat doesn’t drink much, you should always have clean good quality drinking water available to them. And please make sure it’s good quality water, which means tap water may be out, especially if your community puts fluoride and chlorine in the water supply. If you have well water, have it tested annually for contaminants.

Another great offering is the 4Rider “Next” Cargo range offers the functionality of the 4Rider with the addition of a leather handle and the Cargo range of fabrics. The bassinet is ideal for transporting infants, features a strong handle, a mattress pad and cover, and zip storage compartments. The separate seat may be used with baby facing mom or the world. Features also include recline, leg rest, a removable front bar, and a protective hood. An easy-to-access basket is also provided. Car seat adapter is available.
The 4Rider retails for about $759 but components can also be bought separately.

The most important thing is that they were developed to meet all mom’s needs, and their unique modular construction offers parents flexibility for baby transport.

The “war” is between Littermaid and SmartScoop.
For a quick run down OurPets, a company that makes great pet products introduced a self-scooping litter box, the SmartScoop last year and the makers of the Littermaid box, Salton, Inc. felt the need to squash any competition before word got out that they don’t really care about pets they just want your money over and over again.

Which of these companies do you think has your cat’s best interests in mind and which one do you think is only out to make a quick buck?
If you want to find out continue reading this great article.

I like playing with my cats a lot and here’s why it’s good to play with cats.

Playing reinforces the bond between you and your cat.

Playing with your cat is the best possible way to build up a bond between the two of you. Do you want your cat to think of you as more than someone who is there to provide food, shelter and warmth? Then regular play sessions will go a long way to ensuring that your feline friend sees you as an object of his or her affections, that you are someone to greet when you arrive home.

Do not let your cat think that your hands are playthings. If your cat gets the message that it is OK to scratch at, or bite your hands, you will have the devils own job of curing him of the habit.

Playing will help preventing your cat from becoming overweight.

The best way to ensure that your cat does not become overweight is by feeding him correctly with a balanced diet, but exercise also plays a part in keeping your kitty healthy. If yours is an indoor cat, then playing with you may be his only opportunity for exertion and staying trim. Don’t overdo it though, limit play time to about 15 minutes.

Playing will help your cat to become confident.

Kittens learn how to relate with their siblings and other cats through play, it is their social education, how they learn their place in the world. Help you cat to continue this enlightenment by playing with him.

Also regular play periods, coupled with petting sessions, will get your cat used to human interaction, he will be less likely to shy away and hide, when visitors call.

Playing will help your cat develop his hunting abilities.

Hunting is a natural instinct for all cats, a cat confined to indoors usually has little chance to express and develop this instinct. Enjoy some of your play times using an interactive cat toy, the kind with a catnip mouse on the end of a cord are good. Encourage kitty to chase the toy mouse, allow him to pounce for the ‘kill’.

Have a selection of cat toys but use only three or four in one session, next time amuse your feline with a different choice. Keep some toys only for play sessions, put them away between times, so that they remain interesting to your cat. Toys like catnip mice can be safely left out for kitty to amuse himself with, but be aware that small objects can, and do, get swallowed by cats. Never encourage playing with buttons, pieces of string, small bells etc. Plastic bags are as dangerous for cats as they are for children, and are not playthings.

Playing will help your cat release aggression.

Cats often display aggressive traits through boredom. Tutor your cat not to scratch, bite or attack you with play sessions. Use praise to reward your cat for playing gently, as soon as he shows any sign he is about to use his teeth or claws – end the play session. This will teach your cat that aggressive cat behavior is best directed to his toys, and not you!

Playing is ‘Fun’ for your cat!

Cats need fun in their lives, just like humans need it. Relieve the monotony of eating, snoozing and using the litter tray by putting a bit of fun in your cats life. You will have a happier, more confident and less aggressive kitty.

Playing is ‘Fun’ for you!

And finally, it is fun for you to play with your cat. A cat is a wonderful pet just to have around the place to admire its beauty and for its company. But how much better for you to enjoy a little fun by playing with your cat. Cat playtime, good for your cat, good for you!